paragraph 1

Old Major’s dream, followed by his death caused a change in Napoleon. Old Major’s dream is what inspired to the animals to revolt. This idea of a revolution gave the animals something to all get behind. It gave them a breath of fresh air but began to turn Napoleon away from being an innocent little pig, to wanting violence and hating humans. When Old Major died, Napoleon and the other pigs became leaders and started getting sneaky. For example, in chapter 2, there were 5 buckets of fresh milk, and when the other animals asked what would happen to it, the pigs brushed off there question and concerns. However, later that night, the milk had gone missing without any reasonable explanation. This shows that so early on in the book the pigs were taking advantage of the other animals, and already not following Old Major’s dream. Orwell uses this scene so early in the book to hint at what is coming up ahead. He is showing a snippet of what is to come for the animals; manipulation and brainwashing. This can apply to the real world too, as many leaders have had an idea that would have been good and beneficial for everyone, but some have taken it and twisted it to suit them; making it good for certain people and bad for others. Old major had a good idea, but the pigs twisted it to suit them, and by doing so Napoleon had started changing.

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This is a really good start to your essay, good use of SEXY to structure this paragraph. Provide a quote taken from the novel to reinforce your point, not just a description of what happens as well. Consider the choices of your words as well as there are a few opportunities for you to include words that a related to language techniques. Also remember to be specific when possible, it’s good that you are linking your point to the wider world but without a specific example, the point doesn’t have enough strength.

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